The Great Non-Finisher

I am a starter of things. A collector of hobbies. Compulsively grass-is-greener and oh-so-fucking-easily distracted. I lack possibly every modicum of discipline and self-control.  Basically, I’m a big fucking child. Honestly, I can hardly walk down the aisle of a supermarket without thinking “Ooh, I AM really in the mood for a pomegranate. In you go..”, “Now, I don’t need half a dozen jars of salsa, but at that price, I’d be crazy not to.” No dude, you already are crazy.

I am an advertiser’s dream. I sell shit to myself. Just point me at something and tell me that it’s slightly different to the thing that came before it and I’m golden. And then something else comes along and I drop the original thing, whatever it may be, and leave it to collect dust whilst I get my “THIS IS NEW AND SHINY AND COOL!” kicks from the new thing. Then that wears off and the cycle repeats itself. It’s financial masturbation, and I know it’s wrong but-OH-LOOK-A-SALE! Deferred gratification is not my bag.

Its not like I particularly want to be this way. In my head, there’s a major internal struggle between the solid, strong willed and responsible Me, and the THINGSTHINGSTHINGS!!! Me. Recently, the latter has been holding a pillow over the former and smothering that prude to within an inch of his life.

But no more. I am trying very hard to discipline myself and just not buy everything that gets put in reach of my wallet. Or least, I’m trying to finish shit and not get distracted.

Case in point 1, the gym. There was a month or so (probably only really a week or two where me and my Better had to move house, and I just didn’t have the time to exercise. I justified it because we spent countless four weekends hoofing flat pack up to a millionth storey flat without a lift, and then assembling the fuckers. If that isn’t a decent bit of cross training, I don’t know what is. But then that became an excuse for not exercising the week after, and after that. I figured I could dine out on this for at least a month.. “Fuck that, I spent all of two weekends ago on the business end of a screwdriver. It gave me BLISTERS (true story), so no. No gym. I just don’t feel rested enough”
Rested? Since when has physical activity been about being rested? Logic be damned.

But I’m trying again. Renewed sense of vigour. I was just starting to see results before the move, and all that we’re-too-tired-to-cook-for-three-weekends-in-a-row take away didnt help matters. Responsible Life Choice made.

Case in point 2, and the one that concerns me more (and thus, tells you a lot about my priorities) is the sheer number of games I have unfinished. Just off the top of my head, these are the games that I have started, and for some reason, still havent finished:
Dishonored
Tomb Raider
Far Cry 3 (although, when you finish that, you have to give up the awesome wingsuit, and there’s no way I’m voluntarily giving up the ability to jump off any shit I choose. Fight me.)
Hitman: Absolution
Bioshock: Infinite
Borderlands 2
Dragon Age: Origins (that shit came out FIVE YEARS AGO and I haven’t even got passed the first 3 hours).
Skyrim (main quest)
Deadlight
Outland
Lego Batman 2

And there’s even more I’ve probably forgotten. And I don’t even have an excuse, or a good one at least.
The gaming calendar sucks. Basically ALL the good games come out around the same Late-October-to-November time, which makes perfectly sound business sense, but is a motherfucking minefield for magpie-brained manchildren like myself. And then 10 solid months of just… nothing remarkable. This year we didnt even get the oft-anticipated May Rockstar release, because they delayed the release of GTAV to make sure its possibly the greatest game ever. Those inconsiderate pricks.
What this means is that around dark, windy, cold and rainy autumn, I pingpong between each new release like I’m jonesing for some kind of digital pleasure fix to drag me out of the short days and shitty weather. Last year, I started playing Dishonored, really dug it and sunk a lot of time into it. Then Hitman was released. I told myself I would wait to finish Dishonored first, but “Dishonored doesnt feature a chromedome assassin that can off badguys with nothing but a paperclip and some ingenuity. THAT, my friend, is what you need to lift your mood!” “Hitman is cool and all, but is it set on a tropical island and probably the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a half-way decent LOST video game? No, it isn’t, get Far Cry 3 in your life.” “Right, Xmas is over, back to gaming. Far Cry 3 was a blast, I should finish that fir– HOLD UP! The Tomb Raider reboot is out now? In.” “This takes me back, I bloody love Tomb Raider. I can’t wait for the final few chapters.” “Too bad, Bioshock Infinite is out. You didn’t even like the first one, or the second one, but dude, its a NEW GAME. YOU NEED ANOTHER NEW GAME!”

And then I get bored of that. And I remember how good Dishonored was, all those months ago, but I can’t just pick up where I left off, I won’t know the controls, whatever was happening with the story, I’d have to start again. But I don’t want to start again because there was that 10 minute section that I didn’t enjoy, so I don’t want to have to go through that again, despite how awesome the rest of it was. What I need is another game I can start fresh.

I’m a dick. But I have a resolution, and given that I don’t really have a great deal of time to sink in gaming these days, it’s quite a decent one.

I hereby declare that I will NOT buy or even consider purchasing a next-gen console and its attendant games until I have finished EVERYTHING I own for current-gen consoles (totally – if I have enough money, as I am now financially responsible – buying a cheap PS3 soon though. With The Last of Us and Beyond: Two Souls, there are now at least 7 exclusives I want to play, enough to legitimise a purchase. And hey, baby steps.)

And one more thing, Dont you just hate it when…

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